The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

A man goes to his therapist

The man tells the therapist i have a fear of the backstreet boys. The therapist says: Tell me why?

I keep hearing people praise bees…

But if they’re so good at poll-in-nation why dont we get them to do our census?

What do you call a fascist that lost his eyesight?

You call him a not-see.

My local sex shop has caused controversy.

They announced they are going to start selling Lager flavoured gel that is 5.3% alcohol, for women to rub on their privates in a bid to encourage men to perform oral sex. Campaigners have condemned the move because of fears it will lead to 24 hour minge drinking.

The unluckiest man I ever knew joined the Foreign Legion

...to forget a girl named Sandie.

Did you hear about the ATM that was addicted to money?

It suffured from terrible withdrawals

Have you ever been hit by a rental car before?

Nah but I’ve heard it Hertz

Why do russian oligarchs only buy MacBooks?

Because they fear windows

What does Chuck Norris eat in the morning?

Breakfist.

When I die, I want my group project members to lower me into my grave.

That way they can let me down one last time.

My dad is very competitive

He keeps beating me

I saw a fortune teller today

She told me that is 12 years my best friend will die. It made me really depressed so I went and bought a puppy to cheer myself up.

What did the farmer say to the farmer who owned a donkey?

"I like your ass."