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Yo mama so.....
Yo mama so down on his ass he thinks he can get away with anything and be forgiven with the following words, "what. do. you. want. (bleep)" okay. I have seen that attitude from my own mother in the past. I never understood why she always said that. And I never understood when she just took a look at me and said "suck it up, fatty." (the real meaning of that saying was "tough it out, no tears, just deal.")
Never ask a man his salary...
A woman her age... and an Israeli what happened to Shebrew
How does an announcer come out as bisexual?
They start off by saying “Ladies, AND gentlemen
Two flies sitting on a piece of shit. One of them farts.
The other one says “come on man I’m trying to eat here. “
the rowing team got suspended from a race
It was mocking a student who had a stroke
Did you hear about the time Ivanka Trump hid marijuana in her vagina?
Just like that, there was kush n’ er.
Little Timmy and Little Mandy were playing together at the kindergarten.
Timmy says to Mandy, “When we’re older, let’s get married!” Mandy turns to him and says, “I’m sorry Timmy, I like you and all, but I’m not allowed to marry you.” “Why not?” asks Timmy. “Because in my family, we have a tradition of only marrying each other. It’s gone back generations.” Timmy is stunned. “You only marry within your family?” Mandy replies, “Yeah. My mom with my dad, my grandpa with my grandma, my uncle with my aunt…”
A doctor at a psychiatric hospital wants to send some patients home after a test
the doctor brings 3 patients to an empty pool and tells them to jump in and swim the first patient jumps in and breaks both his legs the second patient dives head first and dies the third patient refuses, so the doctor says “this one seems logical, maybe we should send him home” he then asks the patient why he didn’t jump, and the patient replies “I can’t swim”