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A true story about nudity.
A few years back, I saw a job listing for a nude life model at a local art school. I was feeling happy with my body, so I applied just for fun. A few weeks later I got an email saying my application was rejected because I didn’t have the six months experience necessary for the job. (How the heck do you get experience as a nude life model?) Anyway, it turned out the job actually paid quite a lot of money and I had no idea! So in the end, the jokes on them, because I would have done it just for the exposure.
Is it a fruit?
Today I learned peppers are actually fruits because they contain seeds. But then if men have the seed of life in their testicles, are balls fruits?
Rural farm joke
A Wife who lived in the country was out in her garden one evening. It had come to fall season and the wife had decided it was the time of year to harvest. In the garden was their young daughter, Debby, whom enjoyed learning the trades of her mother. Debby, fond of her mother’s talents and skill. The husband had just then come in from the fields having worked a deal of hard labor, the light buzz of whiskey on his breath, and approaches his Wife to see how well she is doing. “How are things out here, honey?” He entails with a grimace of contention. “Well” She responds, while looking tentatively at her batch of fresh Cucumbers in front of her. “Just trying to decide wether to dice them or to leave the cucumbers to dill whole. The husband, with a wry smile and a cunning joke responds “well, we can always work these sorts of happening out tonight. It just so happens I’ve kept an extra one from earlier today around just for the right time to dill whole. Wife, now blushing smirks at the husband. Just then Debby, watchful as she is, a bit confused. Confessed to her, “Mother, learning the trade as I am, I’d like a cucumber to dill whole myself later tonight.”
When I die I want to be cremated.
It will be my last chance to have a smoking hot body.
I’m giving away free yodelling lessons
So please form an Orderly, Orderly, Orderly Queue
Did you hear about the snake who worked for the government?
He was a civil serpent.
In Russian roulette, use 5 bullets and pull trigger one time is safer than 1 bullet and pull trigger 5 times.
It took me a lot of experiment to find out :)
A professor in Ancient Greek took his trousers to be mended. "Euripedes?" asked the tailor.
"Yes," said the professor. "Eumenides?"
A soldier stepped on a land mine in a field
He should’ve been more mineful of his step.