The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Even before being President Joe Biden could access any restricted Area

All those places are usually for Biden

Why was the doctor always calm? .

Because he had a lot of patients

Have you heard about the store that sells used Indian clothing?

Whose sari now?

What succeeds?

A toothless budgie

What’s the difference between a maritime plumber and an r/jokes moderator?

The plumber will actually do something about the rising levels of shit on the sub

What would you call an ex-muslim turned communist?

Infidel Castro

Funny joke..

One man say to other man, hey mister,why is your wife she so sad? the man answers, because she like apples. Get it? apples?

Who was the most mysigonic Pirate to have ever been on sea?

Neckbeard

Little Johnny’s first day in grade school

It was little Johnny’s first day in grade school and the teacher was having them introduce themselves and tell what their fathers did for a living. Little Sally said her father was a policeman. The teacher said how nice that was. Little Bobby said his father was a mailman. The teacher said how nice that was. Little Johnny said his father was a piano player in a whorehouse. The teacher said how nice that was to keep from embarrassing Johnny and went on with the introductions. After school she told little Johnny’s father what he said. Little Johnny’s father hung his head and said “Yes, that’s what I told him. It hard to explain to your young son that you’re a lawyer.”

An interesting fact about karl marx and Olympics

Karl Marx had a sister named Onya that was an Olympic athlete. She is still honored today, her name is invoked at the start of every foot race.

Why does Santa not have any kids of his own?

He always comes down the chimney

two blond men walk into a bar

They never saw it

When I put up my artificial Christmas tree every year I hate bending all the branches back in to shape. This year I advertised on Craigslist for a "fluffer."

Boy, did I get a lot of weird responses.