The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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What did John Lennons parents say to him to get him to eat his veggies when he was a kid?
All we are saying is, give peas a chance
Why where the twin towers upset on 9/11?
They ordered two pepperoni and got two planes….
A cannibal finishes baking a cake for the first time and says to himself:
“Hmm, I don’t know, might need some fresh eyes on this”.
A joke for all the old geezers.....
A doctor is sent to a nursing home to test the minds and memories of the residents. To save time, she interviews them in groups of three. The first group she meets with consists of three men. Turning to the first one, she asks, “What’s nine times thirteen?” “That would be four hundred and six,” the man replies. Without giving any indication that his answer is wrong, she turns to the second man. “What do you think, sir? What’s nine times thirteen?” “That’s easy,” he says. “It’s Thursday.” She turns to the third man and says, “Nine times thirteen?” He answers immediately. “One hundred seventeen.” “Excellent,” says the doctor. “How did you get it so quickly?” “Simple,” he says. “I just subtracted four hundred and six from Thursday.”
I keep slightly messing up my attempts at wordplay, I hope my eleventh attempt hits the mark......
....no pun in ten has.
I wish this was a joke
So I’m a primary care physician and last week we did away with mandatory masking. Today one of my young female front office girls approached me and said “People are so much nicer to me when I tell them they don’t have to mask anymore!” I said “Thats great!” She said “yeah, it’s like when I tell a guy he doesn’t need to use a condom!” I’m speechless.