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Why doesn't Putin accept the title of tsar?
He doesn't want to end up in the basement with his whole family.
“The main problem with the internet is that there is no way to validate most facts “
Abraham Lincoln. 1865
Real situation happened to a work friend:
We paid for our dog “Chunky” to spend a few days at the kennels. But she spent less time there than expected so they had to refund some cash. It is a Husband and Wife team that run the kennels. My family (last) name is Maidens. So the husband refunded the cash in a transfer. The wife lost the plot when going through the bank statement and there was a payment to “Chunky Maidens”.
Appointment
I travel for work, and it sometimes decreases how often we get to have “sexy time.” I knew that I’d have to leave today, so last night when we went to bed I was all riled up and went over to kiss my wife. She said “honey you know I can’t, I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow!” And I thought “well darn.” Then I laid there defeated for a minute, before saying “honey, you don’t have a dentist appointment tomorrow, do you?”
My paraplegic girlfriend just broke up with me.
She said all I do is push her around and talk about her behind her back.
Why did the garlic break up with the onion?
Because the onion kept making it cry… and the garlic couldn’t take the smell anymore!
Found a hair in my McDonald’s burger, I was so surprised…
…I didn’t know they used natural ingredients