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Punjabi joke translated to the best of my abilities.
There’s a guy that lives in a village that is rich but illiterate. So, one day his friend whose well educated visits him and in conversation tells him that he should get an education. The guy’s like why? The friend replies:”It makes you wise.” The guy says:”How?” The friends asks him:”Well do you have a dog?” The guy replies:”yes, I do” The friend says:”That means you also have sheep. You’re father was well adjusted and well respected man of the community. You’re mother was a respected women with great reputation.” The guy is just baffled about how this is all true but at the same time is like I understand how this works. The next day his servant is serving him some tea. He tells the servant:”Hey Sharfu. You should get an education” The servant is like:”Why,Master?” The guy:” Education makes you wise.” The servant just doesn’t understand and the guy asks him:”Do you have a dog?” The servant replies:”No, Master.” The guy after thinking for a while says:”Don’t come to work from tomorrow.” The servant asks why? The guy says”:It’s because you’re mother had a promiscuous reputation.”
The other night my wife and I were getting busy in bed....
She whispered in my ear “turn off the light and shove it in my arse”. I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool down first.
Did you hear about the couple who was caught giving head to each other in public?
They were let off with an oral warning.
Reposts trying to be funny and original
Like these Reddit ads - we’re just not buying it
How do you put a condom on a elephant?
Easy just take the letter F out of the word “way”
The new Doctor Strange was so good
The Doctor Strange movie was so good. It was really mind blowing. Some parts were so funny I was laughing until it felt like my guts were spilling out and turned into cheese, I swear, even if my neck was snapped and I was crushed, I would still rewatch this movie.
Guy asks girlfriend, do you know what difference between a hard dick and a chicken leg?
Girl says no He says,Wanna go on a picnic?!?!
My wife always says: “It’s the thought that counts.”
And I agree with her. We also agree that romance makes a marriage stronger. So I thought about buying her flowers and chocolate and taking her to dinner and the opera. I let her know about it. She said something about a lawyer and divorce. Women…
A man walks into a bar, he yells "Who here has had oral sex with my girlfriend?!"
A clubber slowly raises his hand, he says "I did! I had the balls to!"
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven smeared shit on six’s bed, severed six’s finger with a glass bottle, and is now in court pretending to be the victim after six’s reputation got ruined.