The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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My friend was killed by a charging cable.
It can happen if you go too close to the baby cables.
Did you hear about the man that claims to eat his own poop?
I think he’s full of crap
Old Mcdonald had a farm
One day a military vet visited the farm and a rooster with four stars went into the coop. He came out with a smile on his face and they left. A shotgun was under the nest. The hens were down to one hen and five eggs. Old mcdonald had a farm but the hens lined up in a row Old Mcdonald was shot to death EI EI Oh no!
So I borrowed money from a buddy who runs a school…
I thought I paid him back but then he tells me I still owe him $8.43. It was then I realized I had only paid the principal
What did H.P. Lovecraft say when he saw your penis ?
He was able to fully and clearly comprehend it, understand it and describe it.
I saw a sign that said: "Society for asking stupid questions".
A man walked up and asked: "Excuse me, is this the society for asking stupid questions?"
Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up
Because they have no balls to scratch
Deathbed Instructions
Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: · My son, "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses." · My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over on the east end." · My son, "Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre." · "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river." The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property.” The wife replies, "Huh? The asshole had a paper route.”