The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

"Dad, can I borrow $10 worth of bitcoin?"

"Borrow $11.62? ... What the hell do you need $7.45 of bitcoin for?"

I had decided to be a different person and be productive

But the other person turned out to be unproductive too......

Trouble

When I began his psychiatric practice, my first patient was a particularly good-looking young woman. I asked her to lie down on the couch, but the woman hesitated until I reassured her that it was part of the therapy procedure. Once on the couch, she smoothed her dress around her legs and began to relax a bit. “Now then,” I asked, “how did your trouble begin?” “Just like this,” she said.

What do you call it when the Air Force tries to convince UFO witnesses they saw natural phenomenon?

Swampgaslighting

There’s a woman selling batteries in the park.

She sells C cells by the seesaw.

I just had a shocking realization

I’m a terrible electrician.

I found a new electronica band on the internet...

They were popular in the 90s under the Clinton administration. Their music samples dial up modem sounds. They are called the Al Gore Rhythms.

What do you call a freestyle skier with two dicks?

Twin tips

Did you know that 2 and 4 are parents?

They had six

What do you rub on a pig to soothe its scrapes and burns?

oinkment

I had a dream last night about a nocturnal horse

Well, it was actually more of a night mare.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer

And a mop

People say that a huge meteor killed the dinosaurs.

I guess you could say it killed lots of birds with one stone.