The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

A bank teller decides to leave his job to go back to college for an education in chemistry.

Turns out he had a compound interest.

What do you can an epileptic priest eating oysters?

Holy Shucking Fit

I was a Flat-Earther for 4 years

Then I turned 5.

What happened to Michael Jackson?

What happened to Michael Jackson when he died? They melted him down into plastic and remolded into lego. So now the kids play with him instead.

King Solomon had to have been a total superstar playing Jeopardy.

Then again, there were a lot fewer questions.

Someone asked if they could use my Dictaphone?

I said they should use their fingers like everyone else

Last night I went to a restaurant called Bulimians.

The line for the bathroom was incredible.

what do you call cookies that you stole from a nation after invading and colonizing them?

Biscuts

What is Goofy’s favorite brand of shoes?

Hyuck Taylors

To the kid who ran away with my oversized coat from the laundromat…

…I hope you grow up.

Why did Wyoming grant women the right to vote nearly a century before the 19th Amendment?

It wasn’t hard to convince the 5 people who lived in Wyoming

What do you call a man with a condom over his nose?

Fuck knows.

A criminals best asset

his liability.