The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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I said to a native American guy: I found out the way you guys greet eachother. He said: how?
I said to a native American guy: I found out the way you guys greet eachother. He said: how?
What’s the difference between a champion stallion and a one trick pony?
The pony is monogamous
What is the difference between urine and Reaganomics?
The urine actually trickles down to the bottom.
Jimmy had been divorced for 10 years and had struggled in the dating pool.
His two boys had finally left the house and had both gotten work downtown as chauffeurs at the hotel. With a house finally empty, it was now Jimmy’s chance to find love again. Denise came into Jimmy’s life soon after and he was totally captivated. Denise was a widow and had no kids of her own. In fact, she hated kids but it seemed okay with Jimmy’s out of the picture. Denise and Jimmy fell hard for each other. Month after month went by until Jimmy felt like the timing was right. Jimmy asked her if he was her future. Denise replied, “im note really sure. I’m not sure how long it will last with your parking sons.”
I accidentally said “Gazuntite” after my crush sneezed.
Now she’s staring at the bushes wondering who said that.
I want to die in my sleep like my dad
Not screaming and crying like the passengers on his plane
How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it most of the way in, and one to give it a surprise twist at the end!
Why couldn’t Anakin Skywalker be promoted to a high Jedi rank?
He would have been a Master Vader.
They say that during sex...
...you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?