Hush

The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


What do a 94-year-old and an Olympic diving pool have in common?

They both have Depends. (Deep ends. Credit to my ridiculous partner.)

Two astronauts went to the moon

When they crawled out of their spaceship, it was a sight to behold. In the distance, there was a teepee and a Native American sitting near a fire. They approached the native and one of them said, “Hello! We’re from planet Earth!” The native, with a scared look, says, “Oh god, not again.”

How do fish get high?

Seaweed

I think my friend is lying when he claimed he reached the top of Mount Everest last year.

I’m not sure if…he made it up.

France sets new land speed record

A truly great outcome for the engineers and the driver of the vehicle they named, "S" Car Go.

I got a court summons along with my cocktail

It was a subpoena colada

Where does one go to weigh baked goods?

Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie

I don’t like blowjobs

they suck.

What do you call a stoned poem that attempts to overthrow the government?

A high coup

Non-duality humour

Why do Buddhists only store their books in drawers? Because they believe the shelf is an illusion.

What do you get if you put a thousand school shooters in the same room?

3 trans and 997 non-trans.

The cop asked, "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?"

The miner replied, "Mine."

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

more on the subject Jokes