The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What kind of game system does a cat play?

Ps ps ps ps ps

My wife caught me watching transgender porn the other day.

It took me the better part of the evening to convince her that I wasn’t a Republican.

What do the Midwest, the Middle East, the Middle Kingdom, and Middle Earth have in common?

Too many racists with deadly weapons

You know how in America dogs are called K-9?

In China they are E-10.

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

Which animal is the laziest and tells the most fibs?

The Lion.

What do you call a woman with her head down a drain?

Ingrid.

What does eating cereal every morning makes of a man?

A cereal killer.

Girl, I am no weatherman

But tonight you can expect up to three inches

I once tried to memorize every military manoeuvre in history.

It was formation overload.

What do you do if your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute playing football?

Two tight ends, and a wide receiver!

Money Changes Everything

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. ​ ​ ​ ​ Then they call me ugly and poor.