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I like my woman how I like my coffee….
Bitter, complex, and with a nutty overtone Or… I like my coffee how I like my ex-wife…. Ground up and in the freezer…!!
Why aren’t Nancy Pelosi and Mitch McConnell more worried about the 10inches Kentucky is getting?
Most snakes and turtles can swim
Shocking story
A small kid asked his wealthy self-made friend (that is also a small kid) the secret behind him making hundreds of dollars everytime he speaks to an adult that he knows, and his buddy replied "the secret is telling the adult I know everything, they will simply tell you to keep your mouth shur and hand you a ton of money". So the little kid went home to his mother and said "mom, I know everything!" So his mother told him to shut up and not tell anyone, and handed him a thousand dollars. The kid then tried the same thing with his dad, and his dad told him to keep his mouth shut and not tell anyone, and handed him 2 thousand dollars. The kid got excited and went outside to try it on other adults he knew in the neighborhood. First person he sees is the mailman, the kid says "Hello Mr.Mailman! I know everything!". Then the mail man said "REALLY?? COME GIVE DADDY A HUG!!". The end.
I had plans to watch the finale of long running Australian soap Neighbours with my friend last night
But that got cancelled too.
Did you know that Scarlett Johansson kept getting lost on the set of Black Widow?
She kept Romanoff.
my neighbor has a parrot named alex.
They got him a new freind named Alexa that can talk, joke, and search google.
somewhere in a alternate universe
A patron at a restaurant is asking for "new coke" and the waiter is saying "is clear Pepsi ok"?
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7?
Because 7 was primed for revenge, and odds had to be evened.