The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What do you call a skeleton that just got castrated?

De-Boned

I finally broke up with my communist girlfriend

She had too many red flags

True

You here about vegetarian’s but you never here about carnivores

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Usually one. Lightbulbs are relatively easy to screw in, although depending on the position/location of said light it may require a stepladder or some sort of object to stand on to elevate yourself. Always be careful when installing electronics, make sure the light switch is OFF before going near it

What did the peepee man say when he walked into the bar?

Peepeepee

When people are sad

I let them colour my tattoos, Sometimes all they need is a shoulder to crayon.

I just took a huge shit

The person I stole it from was extremely confused.

You know why comedians are always so tired?

They sleep funny.

What do you call Muhammed Ali after he eats a lot of beans?

Gaseous Clay

I Told My Psychiatrist That I Had Delusions That I Was A Dog

He told me to get off his couch.

What does Summer do?

It sums.

The engineers are always bickering about who is the best at computer-aided design.

They are very CAD-dy.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: ‘Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure. In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant; in India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant; in Europe they didn’t know what ‘shortage’ meant; in China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant; in the Middle East they didn’t know what ‘solution’ meant; in South America they didn’t know what ‘please’ meant; in the USA they didn’t know what ‘the rest of the world’ meant.