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How many school shootings does it take to make a difference?
So far none, so please stop violence!
OJ Simpson sent the court a statute of limitations notice to return his personal property
He wants his gloves back. ​ /NormMacdonald
Original Music Composer
Guy walks into the bar and asks the bartender, If he could perform on stage a couple nights a week. Bartender says sure start tonight. So he’s on stage and tells the crowd I wrote this instrumental last week, hope you enjoy , it’s called pull up your shirt and I’ll cum on your titties. After the song the bartender tells him what’s up with that title you can’t tell people that in a family establishment! Get your act together!! . The guy goes to the restroom before his next song and as he is coming out a lady stops him and says , do you know your pants are unzipped and you Dick is flipping around! … he says Know it??? hell, I wrote it!!!!
There’s a circus in town
There’s a new circus in town and during the first show the announcer threw a challenge at the audience: “This is our new elephant Manny, whoever can make him sit wins 1000 dollars! Anyone want to try?” A few people put their hands up and tried but no one could accomplish this task, until it’s the turn of a man who asks for a stool. This guy take this stool and puts it behind the elephant, kicks him in the balls and makes him sit down. The announcer is furious, but he gives this man the 1000 dollars. One month after the circus moves to another city and the announcer repeats the same challenge: “I’ll give 2000 dollars to anyone who can make this elephant sit down” A few people try but no one seems to get this elephant to sit, until the man from the last time put his hand up, he repeats the same trick and the elephant sits down. The owner, angrier than ever, gives this guy 2000 dollars. Another month later the circus goes to another city, this time the announcer wanted to be sure to win the bet. “I’ll give 3000 dollars to whoever can make the elephant say yes, then no, and then make him sit down” The man from the last time put his hand up again, grab his stool and goes to the elephant, this time putting it near the elephant’s face, he whisper something in his hear and the elephant says yes, he tell him another thing and the elephant says no, then he sits down. The announcer is left without words so he asks the man what he said to the elephant. “oh, it was easy,” he said, “I asked him if he remembered me and he said yes, then I asked him if he wanted another kick in the balls and he said no, then i told him to just sit down”
The song “Jungle Love” is stuck in my head.
It’s driving me mad. It’s making me crazy.