The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

a dark knight in Gotham

One night in Gotham a drunk guy stumbles out of a bar and passes out on the street.Well a nun walks by and sees this poor soul,so she rouses him from his slumber asking all manner of question such as "Are you alright,Do you need help getting home,Where do you live so I can get you home safely".The drunk responds by punching the nun in the face,so she curls up in the fetal position until he stops laying into her.After he stops he walks away muttering "Not so tough tonight are you Batman?"

Why did the man take steriods?

Because his balls were are too big

What does a Spanish Scotsman say when leaving a room?

LADIOS!

I went to my corner shop earlier…

I asked the guy if they sold any helicopter flavoured crisps but they only have plane.

What do you call the Clinton era?

Sex between the Bushes.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a panting of Jesus?

The painting only takes one nail to hang up.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Blind.

What’s the best present you can gift?

A broken drum. Nobody can beat that.

Why didn’t the English teacher like looking at graphs?

Too much x-position

why is john cena so bad at telling lying?

because people always see right through him

How do two 350 pound people cause an earthquake?

Fat Plate Seduction

Have you heard about the kid who was raised by Dolphins?

He went on to live a life of porpoise

My friend just bought a house in a coastal city in southern France.

It’s Nice.