The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Why are quantum physicists such bad lovers?
When they find the position, they can’t find the momentum. And if they do find the momentum, then they can’t find the position.
I can’t believe it
The other day I was walking down the street and saw a nice drawing. I approched it and looked closely. There were no pixels! So it ask the artist: - Nice! This is the first vectorial image I see that is so well made! And the artist says: -That’s normal. Because it’s real life.
Yesterday our biology teacher told us she’d show us what cells looked like.
She whipped a cotton bud round Jemma’s cheek then whipped it on a coverslip. This left us all confused as we didn’t expect cells to have tails.
What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who’s also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath?
A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.
Assassinating Hitler
Two Jews decided to kill Hitler. They hid themselves at a location where they had been told Hitler must go. But they waited and waited. The hours passed, and still no Hitler. One of the would-be assassins turned to the other and said, "where could he be? I hope nothing happened to him."