The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Did you read about the poor, deaf couple, who used to communicate by Post Its, but managed to save up for cochlear implants?

They started off with noting, now they hear.

I’m a funeral home director

People are always dying to get my attention

What’s the difference between a sex worker and a healthcare provider?

Sex workers get paid in cash, tax free

Putin went on Twitter today...

He ordered his generals to Retweet.

A young boy and his family are sitting in the grass having a picnic

The boy finishes his food and asks his mother for more His mother looks in the picnic basket, and hands her son a greenish brown coloured fruit. To this, the boy responds with a look of disgust and stands up, preparing to walk away. “Hey, Don’t disappear!” The boys mother says. “Why not?” asks the boy. The boys father chimes in: “Son, they are a very sensitive fruit”

What’s another name for a professional fisherman?

A master baiter

Ingredients for a “Honeymoon Salad”

Lettuce alone without dressing.

What did the drum set get when it hits its head?

a percussion

Once Chuck Norris reached a point of no return...

And then he returned...

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye-deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no sex organs? No fucking eye-deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no sex organs, and no legs? Still, no fucking eye-deer.

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme

How do you know Reddit is full of old people?

Because you senile old farts keeping upvoting the same reposts.

I was dating this guy who was into BDSM

So I tied him up and left him in the trunk of my car