The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

A job at a sperm bank may be a low income job

But you’ll never be low incum

I was addicted to masturbating but now I’m addicted to sex

Think it’s safe to say that my addiction got out of hand

what does black quagmire say

Niggity

A blind man went to the airport to fly in a small plane and the pilot asked him, “If you’re blind, why do you want to fly?”

And the blind man said he just wanted to have the experience. So off through the skies they went! All of a sudden the pilot had a heart attack and passed out. The blind man felt around and found the mike and keyed up and said, “Help, help, I’m a blind man flying upside down in a small plane and the pilot has passed out!” A voice came over the speaker that said, “If you are a blind man, how do you know you’re upside down?” The blind man said, “Because crap is running out of my collar!!”

My dad only knows masturbation jokes. He says they always cum in handy.

That sounds like a sticky situation!

A guy walks into a bar

*Insert crashing noises*

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half of a worm

I always headbutt my enemys

Because my mom told me i was hardheaded

Success is kind of like being pregnant

Everyone congratulates you, but no one knows how many times you were screwed.

Thai girls are like a box of chocolates

You don’t know which ones have nuts

Yo mamma so fat

I needed to use 2 m’s to make sure it fit

There was this old funny dude who had alzheimer

I forgot

Dex: Wife and me fuck like rabbits every night.

Ter: You lucky bastard. Only get it once a month and I call it the bruce lee night. Dex: Why the fuck do you call it that for? Ter: Because it’s the night I enter the dragon