The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
What did the mathemetician do when he was constipated?
He worked it out with a pencil and a calculator
Two old englishmen are standing on the underground platform
The first old man asks "Is this Wembley?" The other replies "No, Thursday." The first replies "Ah! So am I. Shall we go and get a pint?"
What did Yoda tell Anakin after sleeping with Padame behind his back?
May divorce be with you
I had a one night stand with a girl who had a shell tattooed on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear to it you could smell the sea.
Got mugged by three guys the other day
During the fracas I managed to knock one out, not the best time for a wank but I thought it might have been my last.
A passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a Taxi driver – I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
Tom Brady asked me if I could help him after his house’s air conditioning system broke.
I declined because I’m not a big fan.
My daughter works at a gymnastic studio that is so accommodating
They bend over backwards
Some people like playing Battleship, whereas others really dislike it.
It’s….hit or miss.