The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
They really should sell tampons using candy bar sizing.
Regular. King-size. Fun-size.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other’s a busty crustacean
Two men entered heaven…
and Saint Peter said to the first, “Please tell me your name, your occupation, and where you lived during most of your mortal life” the first man replied, saying, “Harry Jones, Taxi Driver, Southeast London.” Saint Peter said, “Ah yes, now take your silk robe and golden staff and enter the holy gates of the Silver City!” Harry then said, “Aw nice one geezer, cheers!” and walked through the golden gates. Saint Peter then said, “And who might you be?” to the second man. The man said, “I am Sir Jonathon Snow, high priest St. Mary’s Church for the last 43 years.” Saint Peter replied with, “Thank you, servant of the LORD, you may take your cotton robes and wooden staff and walk through the pearly gates of Heaven!” the man, outraged, said, “Hold on a minute Peter, why did that taxi driver get silk robes and a golden staff and I, worshipper of the LORD’s holy name, only get a wooden staff? Does he even believe in the trinity?” Saint Peter replied, “I understand your confusion, young soul, but up here we reward based off of results! See when you preached, people slept, but when he drove, people prayed!”
Why does Bruno Mars always get bitten by mosquitoes?
Because he left the door open.