The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Why are there no bullet trains in America?
We can’t build guns big enough for them.
I met the inventor of the windowsill the other day
What a ledge (Can’t take credit for it just heard it on the radio)
A Farmer owns a Cow called Nobody, a Dog called Noone and a cat called My Asshole
One day his cow runs away, as his dog watches without doing anything. Then his cat runs up a tree. He runs up to a polive officer and says: "My cow ran off! There are various other elements to this story that I wont tell you because they would only cause confusion."
I always mix up my sandwich and hookup apps.
All I know is I have a foot long Italian arriving soon.
Little Johnny was in class and his teacher asked
Little Johnny was in class and his teacher asked "how many of you guys are trump fans?" since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands. Well except little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "why are you being different again Johnny....." so little Johnny says "well because im a democrat. My mom is a democrat and my dad is a democrat, so im a democrat!" so then the teacher responds with "well what if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot what would that make you?" well little Johnny says, "a trump fan!"
One Day I went to a museum in 2079
The museum was of recovered artifacts from the Israeli Genocide, I went to the Economics Section. Labelled on the overhead mantle was "Economics of Apartheid, the Hall of Cost"
3 guys were at a sleep over
They just watched a horror movie so decide to sleep on the same bed. In the morning when they wake up. The guy on the left says "I had great dream where he was being wanked of by a hot blond" The guy on right says "Oh shit, I had a dream where I was being wanked of but by a brunette" The guy in the middle said " Fuck I had a dream I was skiing"