The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Archaeologists found a mummy adorned with ancient nuts and wrapped in gold foil.
They believe it may be the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.
"Honey, where are my pants", says the husband upon entering his house
"Theyre right here" - says the giant pulsating honeycomb
When I was a kid, I once stayed up all night to see where the sun went
Then it dawned on me
Garden of Eden
So after God created Adam he spent a lot of time by himself in the garden, and became bored and lonely. God noticed Adam seemed a little down so he asked what was wrong. Adam told him he was lonely and that he could use some company. God told Adam he could create the perfect companion for him, she would see to his every need, service him wherever and whenever he wanted, provide for him, cook for him, listen to him and never be a burden. Adam was excited, “that sounds great God, what is that going to cost me??” God replied, an arm and a leg…… Adam scratched his chin and thought about it deeply for a long while, and then said, “what can I get for a rib?”
An alcoholic priest and a fornicating nun were having a lively conversation as they walked into a bar.
The rabbi behind them saw it in time to duck.
What do you call the female version of SMH (Shaking My Head)?
SMT - Shaking My Tits.
There once was a man from Conde
He awoke one morning with a yarn He got out of bed to a nice long bath And from his penthouse he went beyond…. (I’m sorry, I tried really hard with beyond but rhyming with it is a b$tbh and a half)
What time was the emergency dental appointment?
Tooth hurty. Everyone knows that. But what time was the Irishman’s appointment with the gastroenterologist? … … … … … … … … 2:40. Get it? … … … … … … … (Too farty)