The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

My uncle who was a great chef just passed away, and I could swear I just saw his ghost

It was a soupernaturnal experience

(DnD, Spoken) What do you get if a couple of monks in a row, all hold their attack action?

A delayed punchline Works better if you say it and then just wait a minute before saying the answer, just wanted to share it here, feel free to give thougths on improvements.

What is the difference between marigolds and mums?

I never Came in your Marigolds bush.

“Snoring is just someone bragging about being asleep.”

I can’t take credit for this joke, but I am proud to say I’m married to one of the all time greatest braggers.

Where does the Lightning McQueen and Sally have sex?

In a bed-Vroom

What do you call—

A phone number.

Which bear is the most condescending?

A pan-duh!

What did Johnny Cage say when he found out his motorcycle was stolen?

Motor, come back!

My friend losr his job making calendars.

He took to many days off.

Judging how much your mother called me Daddy

I might as well be your father

Occasionally I jerk it half to death…

…and half to the grieving families.

What’s the difference?

What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.

What happens if you cross Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip?

You die in a car accident in Paris.