The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...

They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The patrons at the bar are amazed and even the Jedi has to admit it’s a nice ride. They both end up saying it’s a Good Car. The Mandalorian walks around the corner and after a few minutes comes screaming back on his jet pack and blows up the other cars. He has the Beskar.

I can be a man, but still am a lesbian

Coz I like women

What do you call a bear that never wants to grow up?

Peter Panda.

Swimming contest

Joe and Jim were at the lake. Joe said, “Let’s have a swimming contest.” Jim said, “No way, you know you’ll win. You’re twice as fast as me.” Joe said, “Well, how about if you take the canoe across while I swim? Will you race then?” “Okay, we can do that,” Jim said, and across the lake they went. Joe was freestyle swimming and Jim was rowing in the canoe. But about halfway across, Joe realized the water was only about two feet deep. It didn’t make since for him to swim, so he began walking with his knees bent the rest of the way across, just his head out of the water. Jim was still right beside him in the canoe. Just then, an officer with the Department of Natural Resources came roaring up beside them, his blue lights flashing. Jim and Joe both stopped. “Is there a problem, Officer?” Joe asked. “You better believe there is,” the officer said. “You boys can’t be having a race where one of you is rowing a canoe and the other is doggy paddling!” “Why not?” said Jim. “Didn’t you hear?” the officer replied. “Roe Vs. Wade is no longer legal!”

Did I tell you the joke about the Paper?

It’s tearable.

What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

You can’t hear a vitamin.

What language do male teabags speak?

Hebrew

A friend of mine and I were both born on 4/20.

We always have a joint birthday party.

My wife told me I have no sense of direction.

Where is this coming from?

Yo momma

Yo momma so fat and stoopid, she thought Bruno Mars was a new type of mars bar.

Thought For The Day....

**Are old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs simply retired mermaids?**

Why did she refuse to swallow his cum?

Because she is a vegan

A pimp gave a recruitment talk that scared me into becoming a prostitute.

His presentation was whore-ifying.