The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
What did the fire fighter say when the brothel was burning down?
>! We are gonna need more hose~ !<
Bathroom Scale
This morning I weight myself. My wife heard the thump that is needed to turn on the digital scale. She asked, "How much do you weigh? " I replied, "5th amendment"
The astronaut found out I’ve been sleeping with his wife and he called me from the space station and yelled…
“I HOPE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF THIS SITUATION SAM!” Phew, thankfully sounds like it wasn’t a big deal to him.
getting sucked off by your partner-inbed at night is awesome
unless her name is bedbug...
A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich
After he finishes eating, he pulls out a gun and shoots it in the air. The bartender is surprised and asks the panda why he did that. The panda pulls out a dictionary and points to the entry on "panda", which reads: "Panda: a large black and white bear-like mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."
Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him.
After some time, Lois said “Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I’ve regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.” “You don’t need to worry about that because,” Clark said as he took off his glasses, “I am Superman! Even if you didn’t know it was me, in my eyes you were always faithful.” “Oh thank God!” said Lois. “ I can’t tell you what a weight that is off my chest.” “Glad we cleared that up,” said Clark. “So I guess this means you were Batman too.”
There once was a man from Dundee
Who loved to play D and D. He runs awesome games. That last many days. But the only player is he!