The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
Jesus becomes a man
Jesus is hitting puberty and Joseph wants to help him become a man. He approaches Mary Magdelene to enlist her help to which she readily agrees. He takes her back to the tent and waits outside. A few minutes later, Mary runs from the tent screaming. Joseph enters the tent and asks what happened. Jesus spoke: “She came in and started to snuggle real close. After a bit she stood up and dropped her robe. I could see that she was very different from me. So I healed her
What is the best “safe word”?
Meatloaf, because I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.
A man went to the doctor to complain about his migraines.
Man: So doc, what’s the problem? Dr. Well, after examination we’ve found out that we would need to castrate you. Man: (surprised) What? Why? What does that have to do with my migraines? Dr. You see the blood vessels in your penis gets bunched up and hence it constricts blood flow to your brain, causing the terrible migraines. Man: I see. Is there no other way? Dr.: I am afraid not. So the man decides to have the operation and have his penis cut off. After a few weeks in recovery, he is relieved that the Dr. was right. He no longer had migraines. Feeling happy after a long time, incelebration he goes to a bar. There he sees the bartender tell a patron “Hmm, you’re a 38.” And the man agrees gives him a tip, and leaves with his drink. He does the same thing to a few more patrons. When it was his turn, he asked. Man: What was that all about? What are those numbers for? Bartender: Well, you see I have this uncanny ability to know what someone’s underwear size is. So I make a bet, if I get it right they give me a tip. If I am wrong, I’ll give them the drink for free! Man: Really now? Well I’ll take that bet. What’s my underwear size? Bartender: (studies him a bit and smiles) You’re a 36. Man: (laughing) Sorry bud, you’re wrong! I guess I’ll be taking that free drink eh? Bartender: (shocked) Seriously? That can’t be right. What’s your size? Man: 34 Bartender: No way! If you wear that size you’re sure to have a terrible headache!
None of us thought that our friend Opie would be a good mailman.
But Opie delivered.
It is always difficult for me to attend funerals
I suffer from a condition called mourning wood.
Did you hear about the new wireless digital thermometers?
Now is penetrating technology
Professor: The homework is due Monday.
Student: Can I get an extension? Professor: No worries. The homework is due Monday.png.
Did you know Sinatra was a huge chess fan?
He sang one of his most famous songs about it... The Way You Rook to Knight.
People gathered for schrodingers funeral and everyone had one thing on their mind….
“Hmmmm” God bless y’all and may he rest in peace