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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


A soldier comes rushing to the king

“Sire, the turks are attacking!” “Prepare my sword, my horse and bring me my red shirt, for if I am hurt, our troops will not lose hope. But how many soldiers have the enemy?” “About 100.000, my lord” …. “Bring me the brown pants as well..”

Russian Major, check the personal file of Sgt. Shishimarin again, will you.

After every target practice, he wipes his fingerprints from the weapon.

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line

iPhone COVID tracker: "Exposure" notification

Artist: fuck that I want money

What do you call an exploding duck?

A fire quacker.

Y’all ever heard of a reverse exorcism ?

It’s when the devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.

Why do white supremacists shoot people?

when they really oughta be shooting themselves.

What do you call a group of retarded people with guns?

Special forces

Do you know why Amber Heard is trolled a lot?

Cause she is a blonde.

Why are crimes so hard to solve in Alabama ?

Because their are no dental records and all the DNA matches

Please keep the bathroom door closed

The dogs have a drinking problem. (Actual sign on a bathroom door)

Q: What do you get when you cross human and goat DNA?

A: Banned from the petting zoo.

Software architects should never design high security fences.

They’re likely to make them highly scalable.

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