The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Yea gas prices are going up but there’s still one thing that goes down every day

Yo mama

Do you know what 50 cent did when he got hungry?

58

Why do most American Vegans live in Dallas?

Because Dallas spelled backwards is Sallad.

Does dad like jam?

No but marmite

What did the Onion ask the Garlic for during their divorce?

Allium-ony.

What does a nosey pepper do?

Gets jalapeno business.

I was breastfed til 3

But, that’s enough about my day, how was yours?

I was down at a pub quiz with some friends.

I was down at a pub quiz with some friends the other night and there came an entire section on the Witcher. So I turned to my friend Gerald of Trivia to see if he knew anything

YouTube keeps showing me videos of vice-presidents dancing.

Must be the Al Gore Rhythm…

What’s the difference between a dentist and a comedian?

One makes you go “ah”, the other makes you go “ha”.

My girlfriend

came to me with a balloon that said, “Will you marry me?” So I popped the question..

How do you kill a vegan vampire?

Drive a steak through their heart.

How to pronounce Olivia in Ukrainian?

O-Lviv-ia