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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...

.... So, I had to put my foot down.

Why is gas always in last place?

It keeps getting passed.

What do you get when you cross a programmer, a physicist, and a cat?

A very good grasp on strings.

I was fired for having sex with a client...

damn shame since my boss told me I was his best pathologist

How do you tell a male ant from a female ant?

You drop it in water. If it sinks - girl ant. If it floats - boy ant. ^Not ^an ^"original joke"

In every marriage, there’s one person who is always right…

…and the other person is the husband.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

Why are witches never sweaty?

They wear moisture-wiccan clothes

The police took my phone

It was charged with battery

I went and saw my doctor the other day

He told me to stop masturbating. And I asked him why ? He said “im trying to examine you.”

I’ve been getting the finger from women for years I’m used to it…

…if they really wanna scare me try giving me a hug.

I saw the quiet kid with some graph paper today

Im pretty sure he was plotting something

what do you do when you see a severely injured pig that requires immediate medical attention ?

. . . . You call the hambulance.

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