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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


How do you find a velociraptor ?

You divide the distanceraptor by the timeraptor

What’s something long and hard that every Polish woman receives on the night of her wedding?

A new last name!

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun…

that woodwork. I think I nailed it. But nobody saw it.

How do you make an apple crumble?

Waterboarding.

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback

Found a shirt that says, “I see dead people”

But I can’t wear it because it only fits mediums

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash

Did you hear about the blind rabbi that missed when he was trying to perform a circumcision?

He got the sack! Badum tiss.

The Male Clerk & The Consumer

The Male Clerk: *picks up the phone* The Consumer: Which lady am I talking to? The Male Clerk: With the most beautiful :) The Consumer: **Oh sh-** *drops the phone*

China announces the prohibition of naming a newborn baby "Ping"

They want to get rid of the lag.

Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of an 18th floor nightclub was...

not a bouncer.

I gave a homeless man $5 and an old lady behind me told me he’s just going to spend it on drugs

So I went up to him and asked where I could also get drugs for $5

I saw a dead Sperm Whale on the beach tonight

we didn’t click at all.

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