The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

My dentist GF graded our sex life.

Oral - B Anal - C

My wife asked why I was whispering.

I told her that Mark Zuckerburg might be listening. Then she laughed, and Siri laughed, and Alexa laughed.

Man, a lot of things changed after my girlfriend got pregnant

My haircut, the clothes I wore, the people I hung around. Hell, even my name, phone number and address.

Who?

Cared

Flat Earth Society, I’ll give one if yous 5£…..

If you fall of the edge and record it (Then again if this happens in your idea you would probably be killed) Should of gambled it I’d be a billionaire

My kids were born on the highway.

As after all that’s where most accidents occur.

TIFU when I put my phone in my front pocket.

I dick dialed your Mom!

What did he say to them?

You never really learned grammar.

Told my wife about the ringing in my ears.

She said it’s tinnitus. I told her I’ve heard that before.

To be an iPhone user 10 years from now…….

You need to have very deep pockets.

What’s Icarus’ least favorite food?

hot wings

What was NASA thinking when they decided to fly a rocket into a meteor?

Did I hit or didymos.

The hardest thing about eating a vegetable?

The wheelchair gets in the way.