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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


Why do people in North Korea hate James Brown?

They have been told all their lives everything about Seoul is awful.

My job at the potato chip factory

I spent a few years working at a potato chip factory. One day they got a new chip slicer, it was placed in the station right next to me. I often caught myself looking at it and thinking, what it would feel like to put my dick in it… I eventually sought counciling and after a few sessions with no positive progress, my deflated therapist said- just do it!! And so, the next day I went to work and I placed my dick in the potato slicer! It was great- but unfortunately- she got sacked and so did I.

Italian men

Why don’t Italian men eat flies? They can’t get their little legs open wide enough..

best yo mama jokes, go

heres mine: yo mama so fat when I tried to drive around her i ran out of gas

I saw a polar bear acting really weird once. He was running in circles, breathing heavier than normal.

I think he was having a nanuk episode.

I really like ghost’s stories

They’re such transparent narrators being ghosts & all.

What do you call someone who invites themselves over, unannounced, and wants to work out with you?

A Jehovah Fitness.

A holocaust survivor, after living out the rest of his life a happy man, dies at the age of 94.

Upon reaching heavens gates, he meets God and immediately tells him the most foul, abhorrent and truly awful Holocaust joke. God looks at the Holocaust survivor and tells him that those kinds of things are not funny and shouldn’t be joked about. The holocaust survivor replies with “Ah, I guess you just had to be there” (creds to Ricky Gervais on this one, I just added a bit more fluff to it)

What did the cannibal do after eating vegetable?

He sold the wheelchair on eBay

What does Cocaine and Michael Jackson have in common?

They’ve both been inside Macaulay Culkin.

If your tired of microwave meals and want a real challenge..

trying eating the plastic.

As of today, I am alcohol free for 40 years

Today is my 40th birthday

A Father is driving home with his child in the back seat

The boy looks out the window and, seeing a field full of cows, excitedly says to his father; “Dad! Look! Moo moos!” His father looks angrily in the rear view mirror and says “They’re not called moo moos! They’re cows! Say it properly!” The boy replies quietly “cows, dad.” They continue on their journey and a few minutes pass before the boy looks out the window again, this time seeing a field full of sheep. He gestures excitedly to them, once again invoking his fathers attention. “Dad, look! Baa baas!!” This time the father reaches back and clips his child on his leg (because he’s obviously an arsehole). “They’re not called Baa baas! They’re sheep! Say it properly!” “sorry dad” the son replies, close to tears, “they’re sheep” They continue driving on a little longer and the father is starting to feel a little guilty and that he ‘may’ have overreacted slightly. As he is, as aforementioned, an arsehole, he is unable to admit when he’s wrong and so tries to find another way to repair the relationship with his son without ever actually taking responsibility for his own behaviour. He looks in the mirror again and sees his son reading a book. Spotting his opportunity, he jumps on it. “What’s that you’re reading, son?” He asks. The boy looks at his father, then at the cover of the book, before replying “Winnie the…. Winnie the Shite!”

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