The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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A woman asked a man what he did for a living
The man says “I work at a bowling alley. “She then asked , “so what do you do at the bowling alley. “He says “I split wood there.” The woman looks confused and says , “Split wood? Do they have a fireplace there? “ He says “No , I’m just a really bad bowler.”
A Cake Day Tradition
What do you call a fence post that gets used over and over? A re-post.
A burglar broke into our house last night…
I didn’t fight back, I just put the red laser dot on his forehead and the 3 cats did the rest. (Copied from a comment I saw to funny not to share since this whole sub is reposts)
(Rewording an old joke): Kanye, Elon, and Trump in a bar.......
Kanye, Elon, and Trump are sitting in a crowded bar when the three stand up and loudly exclaim: Kanye yells "When I die, I want all of you to pour a shot of Hennessy on my grave in my memory" Elon yells "When I die, I want all of you to pour a shot of whiskey on my grave in my memory" Trump yells "When I die, I want all of you to pour a Diet Coke on my grave in my memory" One drunk stands up and says "Sure we can do that! But do you mind if it passes through our kidneys first?"
I asked this nice girl a question the other day.
She was pretty, young, blond, had big tits and gave me a pleasant smile. I asked her if six inches satisfies? She grimaced and pondered, shifting her weight from foot to foot as if balancing the question and finally replied "no not really". So I ordered the seven inch pizza instead.
Breaking Down.
What do you cal Heisenberg with split personality disorder? Walter Egos! I’m sorry…