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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


What does my girlfriend like to listen during her periods?

Spotify

What is Jesus’ favorite kind of exercise?

Crossfit

Why are all exorcists alcoholics?

Because they can’t handle their spirits.

King: How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?

Squire: 384 my liege King: Ok, round them up Squire: 400 my liege

I finally crossed running a marathon off my bucket list

No chance I was ever going to do it, glad it’s gone.

I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!"

I was so shocked I nearly fell out of the trolley.

RIP Gordon Moore of Intel and “Moore’s Law.”

Although I feel like the number of maggots on his corpse will double every two years.

A priest and a nun were secretly having an affair...

For several months, the priest kept begging her to try the other hole and she finally relented. Unfortunately,she got pregnant!!

Did you hear about this Indian who wanted to make and sell sandwiches?

He opened a New Delhi

Bird: "Why do they use us to teach human kids about having sex?"

Bee: "Because you can fly in my honey!"

A father and son were taking a walk in the countryside

The father points into the next field and says “hey look, there’s a big flock of cows over there” the son replies in a rather quizzical and confused tone “heard of cows dad…” to which the dad replies Of course I’ve heard of cows. There a whole flock of them over there.

What sport did Sean Connery do every morning around 10am?

Tennish.

What does Groot say when he wants to say hi?

"Grooten tag"

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