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Have you heard about the activist group that fights for ceramic containers in fast food restaurants?
They call themselves the "Bowl movement".
GF to her BF on call for 1st date........
GF: Please come clean shaved. BF: OK! ON DATE: GF: hey, I told you to come clean shaved!!! BF: OH! SHIT.
Marathon Runner
Steve wanted to be a marathon runner. Unfortunately he failed Guess he is a running joke in the family now...
Yo mamma so poor
When she lit a match, the ants crawled out singing "clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord cause we got heat".
Retirement.
My nookie days are over, my pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, is now my water spout. Time was when, of its own accords, from my trousers it would spring, but now I have a full-time job, just to find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave. For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave. But now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues. To see it hang its withered head, and watch me tie my shoes.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather - peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car.
Why is LGBTQ+ month in June and not September?
Because pride comes before the fall. (Bad joke, I know)