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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


A local farmer just successfully grew a field of vibrators.

Unfortunately, now he has a problem with squatters.

There is a new line of cards for those who have lost a loved one in a mass shooting...

...brought to you by Hallmarksman.

Why can’t a dog’s front legs pay for a meal in a restaurant?

Two paw.

Not to say that giving my girlfriend free reign over the thermostat is a bad thing…

… but two hobbits just showed up to throw a ring in our bedroom.

My girlfriend asked me to get her tampons at the store…

I told her due to the supply shortage I may have to pull a few strings.

Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?

I mean who eats monkeys?

Three pregnant women visited a hospital

Three pregnant women visited a hospital to check the gender of their babies. While chatting in the waiting room, one lady said she’s sure hers is a boy because she was on the bottom during sex. The second one went ahead to say that hers will be a girl because she was on top. The third one, a blonde remarked ‘‘can’t wait to see my puppies!’’

I thought digging tunnels would be exciting…

Turns out it’s boring

Did you hear about the church that got caught in a landslide that ended up destroying 15 Bible factories?

It was the start of a widespread religious movement.

Why are Canadians still collecting pennies?

They have centimental value.

I get an hour lunch

I live 35 minutes away. Theoretically that gives me just enough time to go home and shower before they realize I’m not coming back.

Me talking to a potential date. “I am 30 years old and have the body of a 18 year old” Potential date: “Oh yeah? Prove it”. Me,

“I would but I really don’t want to walk over to my freezer right now”.

big and slow

I like my women like I like my updates, big and slow. better if they come overnight.

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