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To all the Europeans suffering from the current heat wave, here is a reminder to stay strong.
Your ancestors colonized entire countries in much higher temperatures.
We all have our “first jerking off” story
[Original] For me, it was a day where I was home from school cause I was sick and there was nothing new on tv. All the “kids” channels had the same old cartoons. All the major networks had the same story on. It was early for sports. Anyway, I just kept flipping til I found something til I found something different—that “something different” ended up being Girls Gone wild, uncensored. It was buried deep in the cable package. I’ll spare you the details of me jerking off but yeah... that was where I was when 9/11 happened.
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms in a tiger exhibit?
Fucked, he is fucked.
It’s so hot...
My chihuahua was sniffing my left ankle and accidentally got tea bagged.
There’s finally a documentary on how clocks are used in water treatment plants
It’s about dam time
Getting off the powder
I’ve been 2 weeks clean now, and its starting to get really hard. I can barely go about my day now without the white, tasty powder. But i will persevere. It’s for the better of me, and of the ones around me. I’m tired of being treated differently because of the substance i consumed. And what for? Euphoria? Fuck it. Anyways, that’s how my trip without sugar or sweets has been going, wish me luck
What is the difference between an Influencer and a Terrorist?
Both of them want to blow up
I was on my way to school when I say a dwarf at a bus stop.
He was looking quite impatient so I asked if he wanted a lift. "Piss off" he said. "How ungrateful." I muttered. Then I zipped up my backpack and continued walking.
I had absolutely no idea why my dog was motionless for quite some time, the other day
And then I realised he was on paws.
I began carving turned wooden bowls & stair posts & candle stands,
But lathe-yness has taken hold of my time.
My wife said she wants to break up with me
I asked her “Why?!?” Wife: “You keep making stupid Transformers jokes…” Me: “Please don’t leave, I can change!”