The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
A thief broke into my house and stole my prized thesaurus.
I am at a loss for words.
Nobody caught the errors in the translation of when the character explained the plot
As no one inspects the Spanish exposition.
I’ve always dreamed of swimming in a body of water filled with soda.
Sadly it’s just a Fanta-sea.
Why do cows not own houses?
Because the farmers milk them dry and they can’t afford to pay the Mooooooortgage.
Old MacDonald had a farm....
Until the interest rates rose too much, then they found old MacDonald hanging from a tree.
A duck had a $100 bet with his friend
A duck had a $100 bet with his friend that he could touch the tip of his beak with the end of his foot. Certain that ducks aren’t built to do this kind of thing his friend takes the bet. After several attempts, rolling around on the floor, flapping around and making a fool of himself, the duck fails miserably at the bet. He gives his friend a sideways glance and admits that he can’t pay up. His friend, understandably disappointed but unsurprised says “that’s ok, I just hope you didn’t injure yourself during process” What’s the moral of this story? Only take a bet with a friend if they can foot the bill.
Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.
Knew somebody who used to live in a giant tire.
He got a puncture one day…….. # # # Now he lives in a flat.
Sweet Revenge.
My Mum put broccoli on my dinner plate. I put deep heat on her dildo.
What happens to the mama asteroid when she gets pregnant ?
She gets a little meteor.