The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Thank Major League Baseball for safer streets
When a batboy grows up, he becomes a Batman
A guy had to ask his neighbor for help getting his new sofa inside the flat because it got stuck in the door.
After about twenty minutes of vigorous pushing and maneuvering, the guy pants, “I think we’ll have to call it a day. There’s no way we’re getting it inside.” The neighbor looks at him slowly, “**Wait, inside?!**”
Why is it so hard to break up with someone from Japan?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.
Fishy joke that I dreamt last night
An Asian guy goes into a restaurant and is talking to the waiter. The waiter says "I had a dream of being a goldfish last night". The guy says "are you trying to be Koi?"
Why are computers always supportive towards non-traditional gender identities?
Because they have billions of trans sisters.
Which professional sport has the worst return of investment (ROI) for the owners?
American football. It costs millions for a star player, but you only get a quarter back.
It was my birthday yesterday, and I received $500 from all the cards I opened.
I really love working in a post office.