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An old Soviet joke
A Soviet delegation visits an American car factory. "Whose factory is that?" asks a Soviet visitor. "It belongs to capitalist billionaire Henry Ford," answers the American guide. "And whose are the hundreds of cars in the parking lot?" asks the visitor. "They belong to the factory workers," answers the guide. --- Later, an American delegation visits a Soviet car factory. "Whose factory is that?" asks an American visitor. "It belongs to the Soviet people," says the Soviet guide. "And whose is that single car in the parking lot?" asks the visitor. "It belongs to the party-appointed director," answers the guide.
how many sound engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One two...one...two....one....two
What did the mumble rapper say when her son when he scraped his knees
Aww, Lil UZI hurt ?
I once had sex with a girl who had a stutter.
Thnk God I was able to finish before she could say "No"
for all the ladies waiting for their prince on a white horse
Keep up your hopes. With price of fuel it could happen any day now
After transitioning I added an "a" to the end of my assigned name.
For some reason my acquaintances give me weird looks whenever I call myself a "Nicka."
Be first
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."