The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
What kind of doctor should you not visit?
The one who says “see ya” before you are about to leave the doctor’s room..
A pimp met a farmer.
"What do you do for business?" He asked. The farmer replied "I rent out my horse. What do you do?" The pimp replied "Exactly the same." *(This might take a minute to get)*
The bathroom had no toilet paper, and all I had to use was the money in my pocket.
So I did what had to be done. It was tough, and a little messy. But for a clean ass? it was the best 43 cents i’d ever spent.
What did one piece of toast say to the other piece of toast, inside the toaster?
It’s toasty in here!
Why do Amazon Prime drivers make terrible comedians?
Because their delivery takes two days.
Where can I find jokes like this? (may offend some people)
My grandfather is the nicest guy in the world but he loves 2-5 sentence jokes and jokes that are a little edgy some examples are. Why do girls get their periods? Because they deserve it. How come when women get married they wear white? Because it matches all kitchen appliances. What happened when the guy had an affair with a house keeper? She kept the house. Also the joke im sure everyone is aware off about the lamp 'I wish I was with my friends' And another one is that joke where the husband misses his wifes funeral to go to the superbowl. ​ My grandfather is really old and id like to tell him some new jokes, does anyone have any ideas?
When I was a child my parents put me on the aeroplane diet.
To this day, I still cough up passengers.
Q1) How do you kill a blue Elephant? Q2) How do you kill a pink elephant?
A1) Easy you shoot it with the blue elephant gun A2) You hold its trunk till it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun.
My girlfriend dumped me after my grandma had a stroke last night.
She said it was disgusting to let my grandma touch me like that for no money.