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When other guys ask you how to fish. When do I throw it? I just cast it before my balls itch.

Does anyone else find that cucumber makes them burp a lot?

Or am I just shoving mine up too far?

Where do food criminals go to testify?

The court of slaw!

Anyone else thought that a brothel was a soup kitchen?

I went in expecting beef or chicken, I got fish!

My wife said to me.

My wife said that I should get in touch with my feminine side. So I crashed the car. Then I ignored her all day for no reason.

What do you get if you cross sn elephant with a rhinoceros?

Elefino…

I like my sex the way I like my pickpocketing.

Nowhere near security cameras.

Cosmetic surgery used to be a taboo subject...

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

whats the best exercise for lazy people?

diddly squats

One Karen Said: GET OUT OF MY YARD

I said my yard my property (its a dad joke)

How long did it take Hitler’s mom to take a shit

9 months

Some people ask the secret of my long marriage.

My wife and I take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

why is England the wettest country?

Because the queen has reigned there for decades

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