The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
An old man told me unpaid labour is the best kind of work there is.
But honestly, it makes no cents.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails
When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
You men are all the same
A woman approaches a man and says. "Excuse me Sir I’m doing a little survey, can I ask you questions?" The man says. "Yes of course" Woman: "If you’re travelling in a bus and a female gets on the bus and she’s got no available seat would you give up your seat for her?" Man - "No." Woman: "What if the lady that got on the bus was pregnant would you give up your seat then? Man: "No." Woman: "What if the lady got on the bus was a senior lady would you give your seat then?" Man: "No." Woman: "You are one selfish man you have no manners, you men are all the same ." Man: “ No Madam _*I am the bus driver"*_
Shark and clown fish
Why didn’t the shark swallow the clown fish? Because it tasted funny.
Computer Programmer and Mechanic Driving
A computer programmer and a mechanic were driving down a steep mountain slope. The brakes stop working. The car careens out of control and scraps the guard rails. They make it safely to the bottom of the mountain and pull over. After recovering, the mechanic says, "The brakes must have gone out." The programmer says, "Lets turn the car off, back on, drive it up the mountain and see if it is repeatable."
What’s the difference between…
Drinking an IPA and licking a clit? When you lick a clit it only tastes like piss at first.