Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...To all my techie, nerdy, geeky compatriots out there:
I got a date. Connection on port 443. Ok. Whatever path I took... it all ended in 403.
What did Ronnie James Dio wear to Church when he was a baby?
Holy Diapers.
My wife asked me if I’d seen the cat bowl….
I said I didn’t know he could.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get in to an elevator at their apartment building.
As the door closes the brunette looks down on the ground and see what appears to be a puddle of cum and says, “Eeeeeeew there cum on the ground!”
The redhead gets on her hands and knees and sniffs it and says, “Yeah it smells like cum!”
The blonde dips her finger in it and tastes it and says, “Well… it’s nobody that lives in this building.”
I swear I’m not raciest, but I can tell just by looking at the color of someone’s skin…
How much time they spend at the beach
How do you call it, when a sugar daddy falls in love with a girl?
Candy Crush.
Did you hear about the beakers that sailed the seven seas?
They were the Pyrex of the Caribbean
Have you heard about the most famous cow in history?
It was Legen-Dairy
a drunk guy sees a nun coming in the distance
He hides and waits the nun pass
But whe she pases where he is he jumps her and beat her up
After beating her he stands over her and says:
Im disapointed. I was expecting more from you batman
Our teacher asked us to come up with a catchy headline for a inter-school football match, a child in my class came up with...
Teacher - Children please suggest a catchy headline for the football event coming up in which our school is participating
Child - Kick thier balls!
(True event)
Marriage is like a savings account.
Your only able to pull out three times a month.