Things better not said - our best

Do you know why Santa Claus doesn’t have any children?
He only comes once a year and it’s down a chimney.

Gay parents...
... must be a rollercoaster. You either get twice the dad jokes or a constant loop of, " go ask your mother"

Which doctor works with joints?
Dr. Dre

I bought some fancy pens at a nudist art shop.
Felt tips? No, but I cupped some balls.

Yo momma is like a Texas Roadhouse
She will just let you bust your nuts anywhere you want.

Why dont psychics play poker?
because poker is rigged

My dick is like life.. Life is hard
Life is also short

Do you know how I committed homicide and suicide at the same time?
I was talking to girl a couple days and we got on very well. She then told me that she likes me and wishes to see me again. I replied "wow, how low are your standards?"

So I poured my root beer in a square glass
Now I am left with just beer...

Change a syllable from a movie title
Landscape from New York

I have two rules with myself.
One is 15 cm. Second is 30 cm.

How does a bored ninja kill people?
With a sai.

Did you know there once was a Native American woman who loved to gamble?
Her name was Poker-hontas