Things better not said - our best

What do you call a rhyming green onion that’s up to no good?
A rapscallion

Does music make you think?
It made Stevie wonder…

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
The court is still out on that one

Did you know that Mrs Doubtfire served time in prison for…
Male fraud.

What is Mike Wheeler’s favorite band?
Finger Eleven

Muslim mathematicians have a special respect and reverence for Christian theologians…
because they took a prime number (1) and managed to divide it by 3.

I was asked what my views on pornography were.
I said, "I dunno, rough math maybe 2,500?"

What do english teachers call " Ho ho ho"?
The santa clause

A book fell on my head today
I only have my shelf to blame

Michelin newest 3 star
Adani Group Their books are cooked well.

Why did the fish smell fishy?
Because it was used as a dildo

What do you call a car suspended by spaghetti?
Carbonara

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side
So i crashed the car and then ignored her all day for no reason.