Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Want to know why my bees are smoother than yours?
None of your bees wax
Last night I watched the uncut version of the film Scarface.
It was called Face.
What did little Abdhul say to his Mom after he was caught stealing the second time?
"Look Ma, no hands!"
Egg and hen.
The egg and the hen are sitting in the waiting room. The nurse comes out and asks, so who was first? The egg turns red and says, fuck you with this already.
Man: “I’m so jealous of your heart right now” Woman: “why?”
Man: “because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not”.
What is in common between Black humor and a child with cancer ...
no one gets old....
Construction workers are so stupid
These guys spend a good portion of the day yelling at each other “Dangit, where’s that square?!”
Then they hand each other triangles.
I’m the scientist who just discovered that goose-down pillows are NOT resistant to sulphuric acid.
Although, apparently that’s not what my wife meant when she said we need to “experiment in the bedroom”
Promised my wife a flashy car and she was so excited.
You should have seen her face light up when she saw I’d strapped a strobe light to her Toyota.
I’ve lost seven pounds this week…
or, as my girlfriend calls it, ‘the baby’.