Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...If I have a cold and blow my nose with a tissue
And then wipe my ass on toilet after a pooh with the same tissue..
Will my ass get a cold?
What do me and a wii remote have in common?
We both have wii motion plus inside and dont use condoms
How do you get down from elephants?
You don’t. You get down from birds.
Why is the USS Enterprise like toilet paper?
It circles Uranus and wipes out any Klingons.
I was cold called in chemistry and asked about Heisenberg
I told the professor I was uncertain, and he just said “yes”
Did you hear what happened to the dyslexic pimp??
He bought a warehouse.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion...
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
Why do Southerners make great handy-workers?
Cause they’re always fixin’ something.
A man goes to the doctor and says “dokter, poo every morning at 7:00
Doctor says: “sounds normal, what’s the problem?
Man: “I wake up at 8:00”